Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Full Time Job

My titles once contained many of the What Category.

What I was:

Teacher
Writer
Tutor
Editor
Wordsmith
Grocery Shopper
Mac & Cheese Specialist
Coupon Cutter
List Maker
Keeper of the BandAids and the Cheerios
Calendar Keeper
Taxi Service
Note writer
Cookie Baker
Afternoon Adventure Extraordinaire
Party Planner
CEO of a small, thriving business

...A Yes Girl.

Many things have changed in the last two months. I've taken a sabbatical from most of those things. Most of the whats of my life are on hold. I have resigned from every job outside my home. I've taken a leave from the learning center where I taught students to read, write, think, plan, and learn; I've handed off my editing and writing assignments, taking an indefinite break from professional writing and sharpening words for others. I had to streamline; so little made sense, and I could do few things well.

I've been stripped of many titles. I gave them up reluctantly. A girl can become quickly defined in her list of What.

As I gave up those many tasks and titles, I realized I had been given a new full time job.

Job title: Grief and Recovery.

Job Description:
To breathe, nurture, care for and seek healing for three people: Tucker, Tyler, and Me.

If the task doesn't fall beneath that umbrella, I have to say no. This full time job takes all I have, and I must give it my full attention.

My days look different than before, and productivity is measured on an entirely different scale. Breathing can take a lot of work; one foot in front of the other is not quite as involuntary as one might think. Simply staying awake is a choice, and it's productive.

Add in there my top priority of loving my kids - showing them I'm here, alive, present, surviving and laughing, and thereby they can too - and you've got yourself a pretty full work day.

And my identity in Christ? I spend a lot of time chasing that truth. A lot.

So much of What is gone, at least for now. So, I'm relearning the list of Who.

Mother.
Daughter.
Sister.
Friend.

That's it. Breathe. Nurture. Heal. Three people.

Anything else on the list might need to wait until tomorrow. Today is pretty full.

9 comments:

Monica said...

<3 You are a wise woman. So proud of you.

Mellifluous said...

I've been caught up in the What lately...God is calling me back to Who. Thanks!

Lori said...

clay in the Potter's hand.....

Penned Pebbles said...

Wise words indeed!

KYnurse said...

Such a wise choice for you and your family. I continue to pray for you and the boys for strength and peace. All God's love..

Terry said...

surely a 24 7 list faithful tricia and the lord will reward you for it...

Allison said...

Wonderfully said.

boo4baby said...

And I can't imagine how hard those three things are. You are constantly on my mind and your name mentioned in my prayers. Just praying for you as you continue to cling to GOD Who alone carries all three of you. I agree with Monica.....you have such wisdom in the midst of pain.

Kathleen said...

Full time job, with lots of overtime.